What Lamaze Never Taught Me
by Laura Sera
Lamaze never told me that I would willingly lose myself.
That I would sing silly little songs and speak in a silly voice.
That I could be terrified by a fever.
That I would marvel at a small person being able to walk,
and seriously think they are gifted.
That I would cry at a first day of kindergarten.
That accomplishments not my own could bring such pride.
That Halloween would be such fun and Christmas and birthdays.
That each year would fly by.
That the challenges of small children would be so big and not be,
but that big children could carry heavy burdens.
That I would not be able to save mine from their choices.
That a child could break my heart.
That an unbreakable bond had to be broken or at least feel like it was
and that sometimes I might feel like I was dying.
That letting go was my only chance.
That my ego would need to bow down to death.
That tears of joy come from the same deep well as those of pain.
That the measure of my anguish would also be the measure of my joy.
That the miracle of a baby would once again be placed in my not-young arms.
That I would again know the happiness of small children.
That a son would become a stronger man and amazing father
and a daughter, a better mother than I could ever have been.
That love grows exponentially.
Indeed, Lamaze never shared that life is both long and short and to live
accordingly.
Laura began writing poetry when she was in middle school and her 7th grade friend illustrated it in a little booklet for her, which she still has. She has been married for over 40 years, is the mother of two adult children, their spouses and Nana to four rambunctious grandchildren. Laura is a trained spiritual director having graduated from Mercy Center in Burlingame, CA in 2016. A retired nurse, whose career spanned nearly forty years in Women's Health, Laura worked at the bedside, in outpatient settings and in administration/management. She ended her career back at the bedside, her first love. This is where she was able to walk with many people through times of greatest joy and darkest grief. Indeed it has been in the ordinary moments of life as well as times of crisis, where joys, challenges, and sorrows intersect with the human condition, that she has found the heart of her poetry.
